Spacial Relationships

Every relationship belongs in a space in our lives.

Problems arise when we allow someone to occupy a space they shouldn’t be in. I’ve observed that in leadership we can have inappropriate people too close to us and the appropriate people too far away from us.

God didn’t build us to have relational spaces for everyone.

We each have a limited amount of space in which to place people. Our spirit has infinite capacity to be with God but we have emotional limits when it comes to being with others.

Every country has controlled airspace above it. There are specific ‘no fly zones’ that if you violate you risk being attacked. You can’t just fly into a country’s air space. You need to ask for permission and for a commercial airline paying a fee is required.

Everyone of us need to take responsibility for our own ‘relational space’. There are some people that are ‘no fly zone’ people and there are others who are allies and there are others who are partners. Don’t turn your landing lights on for every passing relationship that enters into your life.

I wonder if you have ever been on a vacation with someone you got on well with over a meal but being on a vacation with them was another experience. You came away exhausted and wondering what just happened? Just because you get on well with someone in one space doesn’t mean they are suitable for other more private spaces of your life.

The key question before embarking on a relationship journey is, ‘Have I got space for you?’ Don’t drift into a relationship you have no room for. Think about where you will put this person in your life.

Proverbs 12:26 ‘A righteous man chooses his friends carefully.’

A classic biblical example of spacial relationships is Abraham and Lot. God called Abraham to go to the land He would show him but Abraham invited Lot along for the ride and it proved disastrous. Abraham’s family and Lots family had to eventually separate because the land could not sustain both of them. Abraham had to end up rescuing Lot from disaster. One episode after another occurred because Abraham invited Lot into a space, God never invited Lot into. It was only after Lot had separated from Abraham did God speak to him again about his call.

Heed the lesson.

Maybe there are some things God wants to say to you but he can’t until you reorder your relational space. You are responsible for your relational spaces. Don’t give your most important spaces to the wrong people and sideline the right people from your life.

Gods got a dot to dot plan of your relational world. Pay attention to the sign posts and build significant relationships with the people God wants in your relational space. This isn’t being arrogant, it’s being a wise steward of your relational spaces and emotional well being.

Grace!

2 thoughts on “Spacial Relationships

  1. I get the point and see a lot of wisdom in it. It’s all about balance really, isn’t it? I have close friends whose company wasn’t always smooth or relaxing or rejuvinating. Some of my closest friends are quite different to me and at first, relationship felt a bit strained and unnatural, but over the course of time they have proved to be the most satisfying and close relationships I have had and the very differences that made me feel estranged from them have actually influenced my character to help me have a well rounded approach to life.
    Sometimes a season of discomfort may also be the result of that person inadvertently challenging something in us that needs changing and we are not comfortable with the challenge. I do understand that certain people are not meant to occupy certain spots in our life, but I do think we need to be careful not to jump to conclusions or be hasty in our judgement.
    Sometimes we underestimate the impact a person may have in our life (or us on their life) by ‘flocking together’ with like minds or kindred spirits and not giving others the opportunity to ‘take space’ in our life and hence miss an opportunity to expand our worldview and character. xox

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